We will be taking a look at the 5 Stages of Grief from the book
"5 Stages of Grief" written by Elisabeth Kubler Ross & David Kessler, but then looking at what GOD says about each stage as well as some principles that we can use to work through grief. As we read through the different stages of grief and look at the Scriptures, we will use the SOAP method (shown below) as it pertains to the Scriptures.
SOAP Method
Scripture – read through the Scriptures, and meditate on the Scriptures when you get a chance.
Observation – Think about the following:
Application – How can you take this WORD and apply it, even while grieving?
Prayer –
In prayer, be honest and acknowledge where you are; pray the WORD of GOD and give HIM thanks!
Five Stages of Grief with Scripture References
ONE: Denial
Denial is the first of the five stages of grief. In this stage, the world becomes meaningless and overwhelming. Life makes no sense. We are in a state of shock and denial. We go numb. We wonder how we can go on, if we can go on, why we should go on.
TWO: Anger
Be willing to feel your anger, even though it may seem endless. The more you truly feel it, the more it will begin to dissipate and the more you will heal. There are many other emotions under the anger and you will get to them in time, but anger is the emotion we are most used to managing. The truth is that anger has no limits. It can extend not only to your friends, the doctors, your family, yourself, and your loved one who died but also to God. You may ask, “Where is God in this? Underneath anger is pain, your pain. It is natural to feel deserted and abandoned, but we live in a society that fears anger.
THREE: Bargaining
We become lost in a maze of “If only…” or “What if…” statements. We want life returned to what is, what was; we want our loved ones restored. We want to go back in time: find the tumor sooner, recognize the illness more quickly, stop the accident from happening…if only, if only, if only. Guilt is often bargaining’s companion. The “if onlys” cause us to find fault in ourselves and what we “think” we could have done differently. We may even bargain with the pain. We will do anything not to feel the pain of this loss. We remain in the past, trying to negotiate our way out of the hurt.
FOUR: Depression
After bargaining, our attention moves squarely into the present. Empty feelings present themselves, and grief enters our lives on a deeper level, deeper than we ever imagined. This depressive stage feels as though it will last forever. It’s important to understand that this depression is not a sign of mental illness. It is the appropriate response to a great loss. We withdraw from life, left in a fog of intense sadness, wondering, perhaps, if there is any point in going on alone. Why go on at all?
FIVE: Acceptance
This is often confused with the notion of being “all right” or “OK” with what has happened. This is not the case. Most people don’t ever feel OK or all right about what has happened. This stage is about accepting the reality of what has happened and recognizing that this is a new reality. We learn to live with it. It is the new norm with which we must learn to live. In resisting this new norm, at first, many people want to maintain life as it was before. In time, through bits and pieces of acceptance, however, we see that we cannot maintain the past intact. It has been forever changed and we must readjust. We can never replace what has been lost, but we can make new connections, new meaningful relationships, and new inter-dependencies. Instead of denying our feelings, we listen to our needs; we move, we change, we grow, we evolve. We may start to reach out to others and become involved in their lives. We invest in our friendships and in our relationship with ourselves. We begin to live again, but we cannot do so until we have given grief it's time.
We will be taking a look at the 5 Stages of Grief from the book
"5 Stages of Grief" written by Elisabeth Kubler Ross & David Kessler, but then looking at what GOD says about each stage as well as some principles that we can use to work through grief. As we read through the different stages of grief and look at the Scriptures, we will use the SOAP method (shown below) as it pertains to the Scriptures.
SOAP Method
Scripture – read through the Scriptures, and meditate on the Scriptures when you get a chance.
Observation – Think about the following:
Application – How can you take this WORD and apply it, even while grieving?
Prayer –
In prayer, be honest and acknowledge where you are; pray the WORD of GOD and give HIM thanks!
Five Stages of Grief
with Scripture References
ONE: Denial
Denial is the first of the five stages of grief. In this stage, the world becomes meaningless and overwhelming. Life makes no sense. We are in a state of shock and denial. We go numb. We wonder how we can go on, if we can go on, why we should go on.
TWO: Anger
Be willing to feel your anger, even though it may seem endless. The more you truly feel it, the more it will begin to dissipate and the more you will heal. There are many other emotions under the anger and you will get to them in time, but anger is the emotion we are most used to managing. The truth is that anger has no limits. It can extend not only to your friends, the doctors, your family, yourself, and your loved one who died but also to God. You may ask, “Where is God in this? Underneath anger is pain, your pain. It is natural to feel deserted and abandoned, but we live in a society that fears anger.
THREE: Bargaining
We become lost in a maze of “If only…” or “What if…” statements. We want life returned to what is, what was; we want our loved ones restored. We want to go back in time: find the tumor sooner, recognize the illness more quickly, stop the accident from happening…if only, if only, if only. Guilt is often bargaining’s companion. The “if onlys” cause us to find fault in ourselves and what we “think” we could have done differently. We may even bargain with the pain. We will do anything not to feel the pain of this loss. We remain in the past, trying to negotiate our way out of the hurt.
FOUR: Depression
After bargaining, our attention moves squarely into the present. Empty feelings present themselves, and grief enters our lives on a deeper level, deeper than we ever imagined. This depressive stage feels as though it will last forever. It’s important to understand that this depression is not a sign of mental illness. It is the appropriate response to a great loss. We withdraw from life, left in a fog of intense sadness, wondering, perhaps, if there is any point in going on alone. Why go on at all?
FIVE: Acceptance
This is often confused with the notion of being “all right” or “OK” with what has happened. This is not the case. Most people don’t ever feel OK or all right about what has happened. This stage is about accepting the reality of what has happened and recognizing that this is a new reality. We learn to live with it. It is the new norm with which we must learn to live. In resisting this new norm, at first, many people want to maintain life as it was before. In time, through bits and pieces of acceptance, however, we see that we cannot maintain the past intact. It has been forever changed and we must readjust. We can never replace what has been lost, but we can make new connections, new meaningful relationships, and new inter-dependencies. Instead of denying our feelings, we listen to our needs; we move, we change, we grow, we evolve. We may start to reach out to others and become involved in their lives. We invest in our friendships and in our relationship with ourselves. We begin to live again, but we cannot do so until we have given grief it's time.
About the Author
Famaya Hasberry is from Boston, MA, a mother of 2 beautiful girls, ages 20 and 27. I am a woman who loves the LORD, loves the WORD of GOD, and loves sharing the WORD of GOD. Since being ordained as an Elder back in 2017 at my previous ministry, I've had the privilege to facilitate Grief Ministry, Single Women's Ministry, and Women's Ministry, and preach at local churches and women's conferences. I am a woman who loves to encourage, loves to inspire, and motivate with the WORD, with dancing, and with joy, but I also have a heart for those who are grieving and/or want to support loved ones who are grieving.
I have been facilitating my Grief Ministry since 2017 and it has changed my life forever. Working with local organizations like Women Are Better Together (WAB2G) to facilitate a grief workshop for their yearly summer retreat with mothers who have been affected by homicide as well as mothers who have family members incarcerated has truly helped me to understand grief on a different level. It is my mission to encourage many to know GOD for themselves and to seek HIM through HIS WORD!
About the Author
Famaya Hasberry is from Boston, MA, a mother of 2 beautiful girls, ages 20 and 27. I am a woman who loves the LORD, loves the WORD of GOD and loves sharing the WORD of GOD. Since being ordained as an Elder back in 2017 at my previous ministry, I've had the privilege to facilitate Grief Ministry, Single Women's Ministry, Women's Ministry, and preach at local churches and women's conferences. I am a woman who loves to encourage, loves to inspire and motivate with the WORD, with dancing, with joy, but I also have a heart for those who are grieving and/or want to support loved ones who are grieving. I have been facilitating my Grief Ministry since 2017 and it has changed my life forever. Working with local organizations like Women Are Better Together (WAB2G) to facilitate a grief workshop for their yearly summer retreat with mothers who have been affected by homicide as well as mothers who have family members incarcerated has truly helped me to understand grief on a different level. It is my mission to encourage many to know GOD for themselves and to seek HIM through HIS WORD!
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